Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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