The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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