ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
