after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
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Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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