i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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