i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
