do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
