he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
