every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
time to smoke my breakfast
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
