Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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