I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
