I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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