What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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