ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You should frame my arrest warrant.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize