How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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