somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
