Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
