I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
