You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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