listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
