...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
