I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
