Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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