I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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