Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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