Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
