i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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