I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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