i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
