i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
They are going to name an STD after you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
