Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
