so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize