I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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