I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
