Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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