I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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