my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
