Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
