Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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