new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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