Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
