She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant