Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.