Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.

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(301): I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you. http://tfl.nu/0isu

Replies (25) Good night (1067) Bad night (2848)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

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(860): she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner" http://tfl.nu/hbdd

Replies (38) Good night (5957) Bad night (732)
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(716): View more from New York

I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.

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(716): I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were. http://tfl.nu/cyr9

Replies (19) Good night (4883) Bad night (798)
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(206): View more from Washington

woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

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(206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90

Replies (14) Good night (6462) Bad night (1124)
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(518): View more from New York

it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone

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(518): it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone http://tfl.nu/gzqw

Replies (13) Good night (4565) Bad night (924)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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(571): I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet. http://tfl.nu/230n

Replies (5) Good night (3053) Bad night (1198)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.

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(720): I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time. http://tfl.nu/bucm

Replies (5) Good night (3549) Bad night (1332)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night

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(908): this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night http://tfl.nu/eq6t

Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (1370)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.

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(318): I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious. http://tfl.nu/bpk6

Replies (11) Good night (3218) Bad night (922)
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(616): View more from Michigan

If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.

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(616): If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there. http://tfl.nu/w9jg

Replies (6) Good night (1629) Bad night (752)
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(678): View more from Georgia

You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'

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(678): You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow' http://tfl.nu/uw7w

Replies (12) Good night (3321) Bad night (828)
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(847): View more from Illinois

And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.

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(847): And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice. http://tfl.nu/ait7

Replies (11) Good night (864) Bad night (1231)
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(443): View more from Maryland

What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?

(1-443): View more from Maryland

The pinata full of drugs?

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(443): What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing? (1-443): The pinata full of drugs? http://tfl.nu/09ic

Replies (6) Good night (1061) Bad night (404)
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(+45): View more from Denmark

I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..

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(+45): I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love".. http://tfl.nu/xnfz

Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (342)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.

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(973): Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles? (414): Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you. http://tfl.nu/1j9f

Replies (0) Good night (856) Bad night (268)

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