This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
