i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
