if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.