Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia

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  (202): He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia http://tfl.nu/7fa5
  Replies (17) Good night (2135) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.

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  (301): roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away. http://tfl.nu/4epj
  Replies (7) Good night (2653) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You fucking left with him didn't you?!

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  (636): At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand" (314): You fucking left with him didn't you?! http://tfl.nu/a3ou
  Replies (33) Good night (1634) Bad night (3928)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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  (870): I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership. http://tfl.nu/f8ej
  Replies (50) Good night (6599) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.

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  (541): The seats are awesome but you see two of each player. http://tfl.nu/6r36
  Replies (12) Good night (2868) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?

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  (443): do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them? http://tfl.nu/br07
  Replies (99) Good night (1764) Bad night (5588)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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  (818): The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling http://tfl.nu/93rl
  Replies (8) Good night (3908) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk

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  (330): 98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk http://tfl.nu/zq8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.

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  (740): I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/pyht
  Replies (10) Good night (4103) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony

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  (720): I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony http://tfl.nu/iwpl
  Replies (6) Good night (897) Bad night (1555)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.

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  (908): No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability. http://tfl.nu/nqzp
  Replies (20) Good night (700) Bad night (3029)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum

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  (781): My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum http://tfl.nu/wc4p
  Replies (5) Good night (571) Bad night (1554)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!

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  (406): I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before! http://tfl.nu/id35
  Replies (10) Good night (1453) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.

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  (414): What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess. http://tfl.nu/j346
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support

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  (404): I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support http://tfl.nu/236u
  Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (216)

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