When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
