Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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