drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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