How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
