hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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