Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
