so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
