i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
