We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize