Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
