so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
