she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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