Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
