my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
