i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
