he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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