i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
