How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
