We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
